Written by Jill Fraser
He has written a classic best-seller that is hailed by thousands as life changing and a strategy for positive thinking, but Dan Millman is under no illusion that positive thinking is anything other than an "idealistic notion".
Dan Millman, the author of the semi-autobiographical, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, believes that it is more effective and realistic to accept all thought – positive and negative – and to recognise that the down times are often the means to attain "wisdom, strength and compassion".
The caveat however, is to view the negative as lacking in substance and then "move on, focusing on constructive behaviour and right action".
"Often when I talk to a group I'll say, please raise your hand if you've read a book on positive thinking or positive mental attitude," he says.
"I then say, please keep your hands raised if you have only had positive thoughts for the past week. All hands go down and everybody laughs."
Cautioning not to simply assume that authors of positive thinking books have mastered the art he says, these are just theories.
"Warriors can't afford to surround everybody with light and be lovechildren. Life has its shadow side as well, " he says.
"The challenges we face are the means of our growth and evolution – not that we have to like them."
He views sport and business as forms of "voluntary adversity", describing both processes as transformational through self-doubt, insecurity, and limited self-concepts.
While Millman stresses that he does not possess techniques that can change lives during a weekend workshop he says that he offers resourceful choices and reminds people of what they already know at deeper levels.
"I'm a good generalist as opposed to a financial coach, or an expert in relationships, health or wellness," he says.
"I sow seeds that can blossom later on into practical/realistic perspectives and principles and practices that integrate with daily life.
"But to say I can save people all pain would be nonsense," he declares. The essence of Millman's message, which is about living life with a peaceful heart and a warrior spirit, redefines the concept of success and is deeply entrenched in his own experiences.
He began life as a gymnast and went on to become a world champion athlete, a coach at the prestigious Stanford University, a martial arts instructor and a college professor before a motorbike accident plummeted him into depression and caused him to reevaluate his values and goals.
His book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, which has been translated into 29 languages and is one of the highest selling personal development books of the past decade, was motivated by his own struggles and achievements and coming to terms with the tendency for success to be short-term nature and superficial.
Inherent in success, he says, are the elements of adversity and its polar opposite, joy.
Quoting a Serbian proverb he says: "two men looked out of prison bars; one saw mud and the other saw stars".
"Alternatively we can see two people on a rollercoaster – both screaming – one with delight and excitement, the other in terror. Some people go through adversity and become bitter, resentful and fearful. Someone else goes through adversity and comes out the other end stronger and wiser."
How we perceive the world, he says, all boils down to our "perceptual filters". "We don't see the world as it is; we see it as we are," he says. "Each of us looks at the world through a window but we don't realise that it is a window of our own perceptions."
Carrying the analogy further, Millman talks of the window possessing muddy spots or potential distortions in the glass and being dark or light. He says, "we see life through the filter of our interpretation, our beliefs our past experience, our fears and our misunderstandings.
"Part of my work is firstly to help people recognise that the window exists then to help them clear it and begin to see life more objectively."
The first step, he says, is to be aware of the window. "In much the same way as an alcoholic cannot heal until they acknowledge, I am an alcoholic, you can't clean the window until you know it's there "We're all like people who refuse to wear glasses and keep blaming newspapers for the poor print." He explains that until we realize that we are the centre of our problem and recognize that the choices we make are shaping our lives, we will remain in "victim consciousness".
The way through the illusion and denial, he says is "logical progression – where we explore where we have more control over in life and orient our attention and energies into these areas and begin to see life with more clarity. "We then start to shift our perceptions about ourselves and our world in a direction that is more realistic and life starts working better." Having a warrior spirit and a peaceful heart requires courage and compassion, he says.
As a young man Millman's mentor was the archetypal figure and fictional character, Kwai Chang Caine in the television series, Kung Fu. Caine was a master of kung fu but also a Shaolin Monk, a priest and healer, "so he only kicked a few bums every other week", laughs Millman.
On a global scale Millman says that translating this perspective into a world movement towards a more peaceful existence will necessitate a change in our perception to seeing ourselves as one body of humanity.
"It will require a shift in enough people from a competitive mind to a collaborative mind and the ability to start noticing that we have more in common than we do different.
"When we see that we are truly brothers and sisters – not just in some poetical, metaphorical sense – it will become insane for one human being or nation to want to hurt another. We will finally get that is like the arm warring with the leg."
Millman confesses that he is a short-term pessimist, but a longterm optimist.
"Eventually, we will get the message. But what is that message? "Einstein once said, ‘Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.'
Changing politicians works at that same level of awareness. I'd like to suggest a warrior's way to peace: which is recognising that we are all in this together as one human family.
"Head in the clouds, feet on the ground: peaceful heart, warrior spirit."
For information on Dan Millman books and tours check out www.nibbana.com.au
