By Igor Popovic
Persuasion is not a skill only salespeople need. It is both a life process and a valuable personal skill. We are all persuaders.
When you go for a job interview, you sell your skills, knowledge and experience. When you talk to your child, you sell your views on how they should behave or what they should or shouldn’t do. When you find the love of your life and want to take things to the next level, you sell your charm, wit and beauty (internal if not external). In all those situations you effectively sell yourself.
There are very few situations in our personal or business life that don’t involve some form of persuasion or negotiation. Yet, most of us approach others in an ad-hoc, haphazard manner. Persuasion, just like negotiation, is a process. It has stages or phases, which progress in some sequence. There is the ultimate outcome, a goal or a deliverable. The process steps happen faster or slower, depending on the timing and the momentum, which may also be called the speed of the process or its dynamics. Finally, every process is governed by a set of norms and rules; what is allowed and what isn’t.
The seven issues that follow are the cornerstones of the persuasion process. Use them as a framework to prepare for your presentations, persuasions and negotiations.
First and foremost, know your TARGET. Who are your trying to persuade? Establish their personality, preferences (likes and dislikes) and problems (needs and wants). Discover their ‘pain points’, something that is bothering them, making them afraid, unhappy or frustrated. Then, identify their ‘hot buttons’, or the levers that will move them from their current state (scepticism, lack of trust, resistance) into a desired state (agreement and cooperation with you).
Have a clear GOAL. Why are you trying to persuade them? Decide what you want to accomplish, what you want the other person to do as a result of your persuasion or presentation.
Decide on the best APPROACH. How are you going to make them do what you want them to? Choose the most appropriate style of persuasion -- would an emotional appeal influence them more or would — you be better off using a predominantly logical approach.
NLP (Neuro-Lingusitc Programming) talks about three basic communication preferences — verbal, visual or kinaesthetic. Some prospects are persuaded mostly verbally; they want you to talk to them. Others are visual – they want to read your proposal, see the model, drawings, brochures, pictures. Kinaesthetic people don’t want either; they want to touch and feel. If you are selling something tangible, you are lucky -- just hand the product to them so they can handle it or try it out. When selling something intangible, an idea or concept, for example, your have an additional step ahead of you. A mix of the three modalities is always prudent. Tailor your persuasion around a target’s hot buttons. Leverage your arguments, suggestions and proposals for maximum effect.
STRUCTURE your persuasion accordingly. A simple, contrasting design is usually sufficient. Don’t over-complicate. You can use pros and cons, problem-solution or a before-after approach.
Decide on the best VEHICLE to carry your message. It could be a story, an example, a model, a face-to-face demonstration or a visual aid (a striking, memorable slide).
Finally, choose the opportune TIME and PLACE. Minimise distractions and ensure you have the target’s full attention. Again, keep it short and sweet. People’s attention spans have been shrinking. Use catchy sound bites and intriguing one-liners, especially with younger prospects who prefer movies to books and are more likely to be visual rather than verbal communicators.
If you successfully cover all seven aspects of the persuasion process, you cannot but succeed. When people realise that you are a decent and honest human being who is genuinely interested in them, their behaviour towards you will markedly improve. They will go out of their way to help you get what you want, because they know you will also help them get what they want. I call it The Boomerang Principle. Sooner or later, what you throw at others comes back. The return is always in kind.
Igor S. Popovich is Perth-based international management trainer, coach and consultant. His latest book is Loser No More!, Negotiate Better and Win More Often - At Home, On the Job, and In Business. www.careerprofessionals.com.au
