By Amanda Peros
The attitude taken by most children to ‘not sweat the small stuff’, may be a great coping mechanism for adults as well writes Amanda Peros.
While watching my son play in the park, I found myself wondering about the machinations (at age 3) of his thought process. Playing with a stick and poking ants is an activity that seems to give him nothing but endless joy; he is content and at ease with his world.
I can’t help but wonder, then, what he has made of all that has happened in his life in the past 12 months and how he has coped so well. In the past year he has endured his mother (me) getting sick with Cervical Cancer, his parents separating, moving away from his father and finding the dynamic of living with a single mother. He has also started pre-school and is spending four full days a week away from home.
As adults we are so concerned with coping mechanisms and de-stressing, that we further complicate issues that affect our lives. Yet, what if we were to approach these problems from a child’s perspective? Do we really need to stress, worry and fret over every little occurrence, change and event? It seems my son sails through life with a philosophy that says ‘if it doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother it’.
When we grow older, we seem unable to accept things we cannot change and move forward. Yet, imagine how much more carefree we would be if we were able to take life and its challenges at face value and make the best of what we have.
I worry about what being a single mum will do to my son’s social life when he reaches school age.
Statistically, the majority of his generation will come from single parent, step parent and blended family situations. Is it possible that this diversity in family life will actually produce a generation more accepting of ‘the modern family’, as well as ethnicity, religion and cultural differences? Will it produce a generation of young adults who are much more adept at coping in general?
If nothing else, one positive that can be said about the children who come from these families is that they seem to gain an understanding of empathy and acceptance and an ability to deal with life’s challenges.
The same can be said for working mothers and fathers. I feel extremely guilty at times when I see other mothers who stay at home and spend their days at kindergarten gym or in the park. Yet, I am constantly complimented on what an amazing child my son is: waking every morning, getting himself dressed and ready for school, he already has a sense of responsibility and structure. All I can hope for is that having to deal with so much change at such an early age, will enable him to utilise these skills later in life.
The most amazing thing is that as I watch my son play he is completely unaware that he is able to do these things; he accepts his world for what it is because he does not know any other way. He simply makes the best of the situation and can always be counted on to naturally adopt the ‘glass is half full’ attitude.
The next time I feel stressed and anxious about things beyond my control, I may just grab that stick and poke a few ants…you never know it may be quite therapeutic.
