By Bridget Thompson
Have you ever noticed how after sharing time with someone special, your spirits are high? When you part (momentarily or otherwise), there is a warmth and sense of love and joy within you.
It may have been a while since you've had this experience? I know that when I am busy working with clients, I experience this joy. I can be feeling flat, down and low in energy, but then along comes my client. Fast forward an hour or so and after some quality time connecting and talking, I feel alive.
If you take time to reflect upon the quality of the connection fostered during that time, it will give you good explanation as to why you feel as you do.
Recently, I have found myself reading the Dalai Lama's book, The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World. One of the very first things this book discusses is this sense of connection to others. The Dalai Lama, as a demonstration of this notion, poses the very question this article is based upon, "Do you know your neighbour?"
Through the discussion in the book, it became startlingly apparent that the concept of 'connection' is simple, yet incredibly profound.
How connected am I feeling to others?
How different am I feeling to others?
Take time to consider how you can profoundly increase your level of day to day happiness (and health) by being aware of the level of connection you are feeling to others, then take action to foster these connections further.
For this to work, it requires a real sense of responsibility; a notion that it is you who can change this experience for yourself.
It is a much simpler concept to approach when you take it down to just one person at a time. By reaching out to connect with another, you increase the happiness of not just yourself but the other. If this person 'pays it forward', then you have a domino or ripple effect. We all know how contagious happiness can be and how good we can feel simply being in the presence of someone who is naturally upbeat.
Without doubt a sense of connection to another person makes you feel a genuine sense of happiness that lifts your spirit, heightens your mood, energises your day (yes, even at that 3-4pm slump), boosts your immune system and improves your general mental well being. It really is the best medicine, psychotherapy and counselling you could ever invest in.
Unfortunately, one of the greatest challenges today is the ability to open up and connect with others. Following are three strategies and ideas to help you open up and improve your level of day to day happiness.
How deep is this connection? How true is the interaction? The depth of connection via social online networks can be limited and not as satisfying as heartfelt connections that come from eye contact and human presence. You will know whether or not these connections satisfy you at a deeper level, by honestly checking in with yourself.
Are you genuinely being yourself? Are you allowing yourself to be open? Being open requires you to feel safe as it carries a notion of vulnerability. I have learned that there is no way to be truly connected to another if you do not, at some level, allow yourself to be vulnerable to the real potential that this person could hurt you. That is also why true satisfaction in human connection can be few and far between as we increasingly feel unsafe to be ourselves. So check in with the number of connections you experience on a day to day basis in which you truly feel free to be yourself. Is there a way to foster and grow this type of interaction?
Awareness will do little without action. Once you become aware, it is time to ponder what you can and will do to change this experience. One of the greatest things we can do as humans to increase our sense of connection to others is to remember that ultimately we ARE all human beings and in many ways similar.
When you make the conscious choice to focus more on what you have in common with others, the better you will feel and the closer bonds you are able to develop. Make it a habit to consciously look for how you are the same as someone else. Foster true compassion, rather than intolerance. As with any habit, this takes daily practice and reflection.
This perspective will give you many new-found opportunities to connect with others. If you live a relatively isolated life, get out and find groups to join and functions to attend. When you are among people look for the ways in which you are the same. This is not a walk in the park. I didn't really learn what it meant to open up to another until last year. First at a one-on-one level (in my personal relationship), then at a group level.
All it takes is practice to put yourself out of your comfort zone. Now I feel so open-hearted and so connected that I cannot imagine how I thought I was happy before. No wonder I had moments of great despair and loneliness….
And this is the very reason I felt compelled to discuss this notion today. I have been there. I do know what it's like and I do know how much more happy, healthy and fulfilled one can feel simply by learning to open up and connect!
As the title implies however…. perhaps all it takes is getting to know your neighbour? Maybe you can start there?
Bridget Thompson, once overweight and unfit, is now an accredited practicing dietician with a passion and zest for helping her clients to live happier, healthier, and more purposeful lives.
newleafnutrition.com.au
