Written by Allan Pease
Shaking hands is a relic of the caveman era and has its origins in arm wrestling. Attitudes are transmitted unconsciously and with practice and application, certain handshake techniques can have an immediate effect on face-to-face encounters. Dominance or submissiveness is communicated in a handshake through whose hand is on top of the handshake.
The dominant character will unconsciously take the upper hand. This dominance is felt the other person because they are forced to have palm facing up by being underneath. Showing your palms when you talk is a signal that a person is being open and non-threatening because they're not concealing anything in their hands. There are several styles of handshake:
Palm down thrust: an aggressive shake style that gives the receiver little chance of establishing an equal relationship.
The glove handshake: the politician's handshake where the initiator tries to give the receiver the impression that he is trustworthy and honest by placing both hands on the other person's but it has the reverse effect. Other versions can be where the left hand is used to show extra warmth by grasping the wrist, elbow, arm, or shoulder of the receiver.
The dead fish: a soft, placid shake that communicates lack of confidence, and lack of strength of personality. Can be especially bad if hand is cold and clammy.
The knuckle grinder: the tough guy who makes a point of enforcing his dominance
The stiff arm thrust or pull: used to keep distance, or to pull the receiver into the initiators personal space.
If someone has their hands clenched, and resting on the table, or clenched and held upright in front of their face with elbows on desk, or finally clenched and held in front of crotch when standing, this can be interpreted as a negative gesture of frustration. The higher the hands are held is positively correlated with the strength of the person's negative mood.
Steepling the hands (fingertips together in a steeple type formation) can be both positive and negative. If it follows a cluster of positive gestures, it can show interest in the proposition, and you can expect to close a sale successfully if they are a client. If it follows a cluster of negative gestures, and perhaps are steepled in front of their crotch and they are leaning back somewhat then they are unsure of the proposition at hand. When you grip hands together behind your back, you are exposing your vulnerable stomach, heart and throat regions, and this is an unconscious act to show fearlessness to others. It is a confidence gesture.
If thumbs are exposed in an arms crossed position, the person is displaying a negative defensive position and trying to show superiority in this defensiveness. Thumbs, when used to point at someone can be a form of ridicule and disrespect.
If you see your co-worker clasping their hands on their desk as you speak to them, you may want to change conversation, perhaps ask their opinion, relieve their frustration so that you don't allow for built up frustrations in your office. The earlier something is solved, the earlier you can move on from it. If you find that your boss is steepling their hands in a positive manner, you know he is feeling enthused by your ideas, and you are onto a winner.
